The intelligent GIR
by Invader Char
Summary: GIR, intelligent? No way! Witness the insanity as Zim and GIR go through another plan, and fail AGAIN!
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone! Please be nice with your reviews. I mean, no one likes stuff that's not very nice, right?

"GIR! GIR? Hello? GIR, where are you?" Zim called to his crazy robot. Barely after he finished talking, GIR dropped in from the ceiling.

"Yes master?" GIR said.

"We're going to create a new plan to get rid of the Dib monkey who thought he could mess with ZIM!"

"Okay… Could you sing me a song about giant mongooses?" GIR asked stupidly.

"No, GIR. We need to concentrate, here. The only reason we haven't destroyed this planet is because that filthy earth pig thing stops us. I am going to, um-" Zim stopped talking as he realized he didn't have a plan.

"Hmmm, I think I will upgrade your listening skills. Not lock you into duty mode like last time. That was disaster. I'm just going to give you some intelligence."

"Okie dokie!"

That was the prologue. The chapters will be longer. REVIEW OR I WILL HAVE GIR STUFF YOU FULL OF FRANKENCHOKIES!


	2. Chapter 2

I decided to do chapter 2 a bit earlier than planned. So, if you like, enjoy!

Zim and GIR went into the labs.

"Computer!" Zim said.

"What?"

"What is GIR's intelligence status now?"

"2 out of 100. Very unintelligent."

"Okay." Zim hooked a huge cord into GIR's head.

"Computer, tell me when the download of GIR's intelligence status reaches 75."

"Whatever," his computer said grumpily.

Zim went up the elevator into the house. He got out Irken poop cola and started to drink.

"Intruder alert!" the computer said.

"An intruder? How? Computer, run a scan of the house. Bring the intruder to me when you're done."

TEN MINUTES LATER…

"Intruder detected." A huge medal claw dropped a figure down on the ground at Zim's feet.

"DIB! What are you doing in my base?"

"Um, spying?" Dib mumbled.

"Get out! Now!" Dib went out. As soon as he got to the window, he said,

"Mwa ha ha! I took pictures of your labs and robot! Now I have photographic evidence. Real proof of your existence! When the paranormal investigators see this, it's just a quick investigation of this house, then from there to the labs, and they'll find you and take you to an alien autopsy table. Mwa ha ha!!" With that, Dib took off.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Zim yelled.


	3. Chapter 3

Kay, I started a new chapter. Thanks to the few fans who read my story. Reviews make me feel good!

Zim went back into the labs where GIR was still getting his intelligence updated.

"GIR! The Dib monkey has invaded our base. We need to hurry, here. He said he was going to submit this to those parawhatists, and we could be exposed soon! Did you give Dib any help?" Zim demanded.

"Nooo," GIR said.

"Computer, what is GIR's intelligence status?"

"74 out of 100."

"Excellent. Computer, how long until the download reaches 75?"

"46 seconds."

46 SECONDS LATER…

"Download complete."

Zim removed the cord from GIR's head. GIR, who was now a bit more intelligent, said,

"Could we go capture the Dib thingie now?"

"Yes." They got on their disguises and exited the base.

"When we get there, you will go up to his house. Then, when he answers the door, I will trap him with the laser bubble."

"Okie dokie." They reached the front door, and GIR walked over and rang the doorbell. Dib answered, looking a little shocked that the little green dog of Zim's was staring at him with an intelligent expression. Zim fired the laser bubble, and Dib was trapped inside.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH! You fell for my trap, Dib! Now, from this day forward, you will not be a threat to my mission!" With that, he marched off laughing, with GIR pulling the bubble behind him.

"You won't get away with this, Zim! I will escape like I did all those other times, and I will show Mysterious Mysteries these pictures of your base!"

"Not likely, Dib! You will be destroyed as soon as we get back to the base. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Dib shouted.

"That sounded a bit like me in the last chapter," Zim thought to himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Hi, everybody

Hi, everybody! I hope you enjoy chapter 4! Please review!

"Hmmm, what to do with Dib," Zim said to himself when they got back to the base.

"Master, why don't we keep him as a test subject?" GIR suggested.

"Wow, GIR. My amazing skills payed off. Sure, we will keep Dib as a test subject. What should we do with him first?"

"See if humans can resist the power of those exploding slusho cans," GIR said.

"Why am I so amazing?" Zim asked.

"But it was my idea."

"LIER!!"

"Yes, master." They took Dib to the testing room. Zim got out an exploding slusho, and put it next to Dib's head.

"I will try to explode your HUGE head first, Dib!" Zim snickered.

"You won't get away with this, Zim!"

"I already have. You are trapped in the laser bubble, and if you try to escape, you will have your brains fried," Zim laughed. Dib quivered in fear.

"The slusho will explode in ten, nine, eigt, seven, six, five, four, three-" Zim was cut off by a loud shreiking.

"What the-" He went up the elevator to investigate.

"Psst, robot slave thing of Zim's! Will you help me, I know you're stupid," Dib asked urgently.

"Big head boy called me stupid?" GIR sniffed, tears coming to his eyes.

"All I was saying was could you help me escape?"

"Master said no. I must obey my master," GIR said in an offended voice.

"What has Zim ever done for you? Has he taken care of you kindly? Has he ever helped solve your problems? He just wants to rule te planet. He doesn't want to help you," Dib lied desperately.

"Hmm. I must listen to the Dib. He speaks the truth," GIR said in a hypnotized voice, his eyes glazing over. Dib wondered how he was hypnotizing the robot, but he didn't care. He would escape.

"GIR, go find a way to get me out." GIR walked over to the thingamajig that was holding the laser bubble.

"Must obay the bigheaded boy," GIR muttered. He pushed a button, and Dib was free.

"Now, to find a way out of here," Dib said. "GIR, is there a way out of the house besides the front door?"

"The beamee thing. It beams you to the garden," GIR said. Dib walked over to the beam, and pulled the lever that said 'PUSH TO GO UP'. He found himself in the front yard.

"HAHAHA!! See ya Zim! I have a chance to expose you now!" Dib yelled to Zim, who had come out into the yard. Zim ran after him, and attacked him. They wrestled in the dirt, until they both were too out of breath to fight anymore.

"Okay, Dib. You win. Go home, and I won't bug you anymore. I won't destroy Earth, and I will go back to my home planet," Zim said when he caught his breath. When Dib turned away, he grinned evily.

"Okay! I will go home now. I'll be happy to see the back of you, Zim!" Dib laughed gleefully. He ran home. He was halfway down the street, when he realized that Zim had stolen the camera used to take pictures of his base.

"VICTORY FOR ZIM!!" Zim shouted.

Okay, that was a bit longer than planned. Don't give up on the story now, because there is one mystery that is solved in the next chapter. How did GIR get hypnotized? Keep reading to find out!


	5. Chapter 5

Hi

Sorry for the delay. The internet was going wack. This is the final chapter, people, so review! Please?

"GIR! You let the Dib human escape! Why? I ordered you to keep an eye on him, not let him escape! Zim shouted.

"I did?" GIR asked blankly.

"Yes you did you stupid moron! Thanks to you, he's free to stop our evil plan over and over until we get destroyed or retreat to Irk, were the Tallest would kill me for giving in! Why did you do it?"

"I don't recall ever setting Dib free. He must've escaped on his own," GIR said.

"Well, why don't I believe that?" Zim said sarcasticly.

"Go over to Dib's house in your disguise and ask him how he escaped. He might tell you," GIR uggested.

"You dare tell me what to do!?" Zim yelled. "I will ask the human how he escaped. Maybe he'll tell me," Zim said.

"But I just suggested that," GIR pointed out.

"YOU'RE MAKING IT UP!"

Zim put on his disguise and went over to Dib's house. He rang the doorbell. Dib answered.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" he screamed, sheilding his face.

"Dib, how did you escape? What did you to penetrate my defenses?" Zim demanded.

"I hypnotized that stupid robot of yours and he helped me escape."

"And how did you manage that?" Zim wanted to know.

"I don't know."

"YOU LIE!"

"NO I DON'T!"

"So, what did hypnotize GIR if you don't know what?"

"Well, I could've just suddenly got super powers and hypnotized him," Dib suggested.

"No. You are coming with me to my base, and we are going to investigate."

"You think I want to fall for that nonsense?" Dib stated.

"I am not going to capture you. I will just let you go back to your ouse in peace. I give you my word," Zim promised.

"Deal." They shook on it. They then ran to Zim's house.

"Let's go down to the labs. That's where you were imprisoned," Zim said. Tey flushed themselvess down the toilet. When they got down to the labs, they started searching, until they fell asleep from exhaustion. The next morning…

"Master! Bigheaded kid! Wake up! You have to wake up! I found out! I found how the Dib hypnied me! WAKE UP MASTER!!" Zim woke up to GIR's shouting.

"ALL right, GIR, I'm up," Zim grumbled. He and Dib sat up and faced GIR.

"What did you want?" Zim asked.

"I found out what hypnied me! I remember now! I was starin at Dib's pocket were the camera stringie thingie was, and I forgot everything until I saw Dib escaping."

"GIR, you're a genious! The string coming off the camera was dangling out of Dib;s pocket, and GIR got hypnotized! Why didn't I think of that?" Zim wondered aloud. So the little random mystery was solved, and Zim ruled the Earth eventually, ant the Tallest forgave him, and everything was good.

WAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! THE END. Thanks for the kind reviews from all my fans. There will be a sequal, so watch out for it!! Also, if you have any ideas for my little stories, you could email me. Find my email on my character page.


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